Even the Cards Won't Tell Your Fate
by NGBlue
Summary: Emma and Regina are trying to deal with the aftermath of everything that happened in Neverland, while also being forced to deal with each other as well.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This takes place post-Neverland and kinda deals with the traumas everyone suffered over there. Also a minor (?) warning for multiple character deaths though they all happen off-screen. One of them I can reveal is Neal, basically he died the moment he got sucked into that vortex. (Good riddance)

Also there will be 7 or 8 parts total, depends on how I'll post the last part. This being part 1/prologue.

* * *

-x-x-x-

Emma draws her gun at the moment she notices the blood which streaks the shards of glass scattered around the flower-bed. There is more blood on the remnants of the broken window and even one partial bloody handprint on the wall next to it. It is enough to make her heart-rate accelerate and question the wisdom of her decision to head over to Regina's mansion all by herself.

She moves carefully, with the gun trained in front of her as she slowly circles around towards the back entrance of the house. All the time she is listening for any suspicious activity, for any voices or movement coming from inside, not knowing if she should be surprised or worried when she hears none.

Pressing against the door with one hand, Emma feels her breath catching in her throat when it gives easily, opening up a fraction, accompanied by a creak which to her sounds nearly deafening.

"Emma?" Regina's voice rings out from somewhere inside and Emma swears she feels her heart skipping few beats in response. Without a word, she gives the door a push and enters the building.

Trepidation mixes with confusion as she scans the room. It looks like a bomb had gone off, shards of glass and wood-splinters are scattered everywhere and several pieces of furniture lay overturned. There are also further splatters of blood and Emma's heart thuds wildly in her chest as she follows the trail, peering into the living-room.

"Emma?" Regina asks again as she straightens from her crouching position on the sofa. Magic hums just below her fingertips, ready to be used in case someone else deemed it necessary to trespass upon her property.

She conjures up a small ball of energy just as a flashlight shines straight into her eyes and for a moment she is blinded by the bright light. She raises her hand, ready to throw the ball towards the intruder, but then she hears a familiar voice cursing with a variety of expletives and she relaxes again, eyes closing in relief.

"Goddamnit Regina, a little heads up next time would be nice, what with that cryptic phone-call and all. I thought you were in serious danger, Jesus." Then, as she noticed Regina's hangdog expression, the haunted look in her eyes, Emma can't help wondering just what the hell was really going on.

"I'm sorry, I didn't have much time and I..I didn't know who else to call."

Sighing softly, Emma holsters her gun. "Why did you? It's almost 3 o'clock in the middle of the flipping night Regina, can't you find a more appropriate time to have your temper tantrums."

Regina's head snaps up with the accusation. "Are you truly this much of an idiot, that you think I did this to my own house?"

"Then who the hell did?!" Emma growls out. She is tired of playing games, she has a warm bed and a son who is currently home alone to return to.

"Shhh," Regina hisses, then points towards the sofa, at something hidden from Emma's view.

Walking around the sofa cautiously, Emma is assailed by the overwhelming stench of alcohol. She thinks of glaring accusatory at Regina, for not only calling in the middle of the fucking night, but while apparently being tanked to boot. But then she spies the form lying on the couch and any words that were about to pass across her lips, get swallowed right back up again.

"Belle?" she whispers, while turning her head towards Regina, raising an eyebrow as means of inquiry. If anything, she was feeling even more confused than before.

Wrapping her arms around herself, Regina fixes her eyes to the trail of blood-drops on the floor. "I heard the sound of a window breaking, but I thought nothing of it at first. As you are well aware, I am still not liked very much and I've dealt with the occasional stone being thrown through the windows in the past. But then there was the yell and the sounds of someone thrashing things downstairs. I found her, drunk, yelling nonsensical things."

"So you what..knocked her out?"

"Not at first."

Emma pinches the bridge of her nose warily as she thinks of how to sort this particular mess out. As if the town hadn't been crazy enough lately. As if she didn't have enough on her plate to come to terms with. Ever since Neverland. Ever since…

Regina waits a few seconds for Emma to prompt her with the next question, but when it never comes, she glances towards her curiously. There is a faraway look in her eyes and she is clutching one of her hands with the other one.

"Are you alright dear?"

"Hm?" Emma blinks a few times, before focusing her attention at the present again. She notices Regina looking at her hands and immediately drops both of them back to her sides. "I'm fine," she deflects, though she can tell from the expression on Regina's face that she wasn't fooled in the least by the blatant lie. "What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know...that's why I called you."

"Lovely," Emma grouses as she studies Belle for a moment, the grimaces she was making in her sleep, a dead giveaway that she wasn't exactly dreaming of pleasant things. "I suppose I could just book her for a night, until she sleeps it off." She grabs a hold of Belle's arms and moves her on her side so she can click her cuffs in place. "You want to uh..press charges or something?"

"No," Regina sounds tired as she answers. "I don't see the need."

"You don't…" Emma trails off incredulously. Shaking her head, she sits down on the other end of the sofa and tries to think of a proper way to move Belle towards the patrol-car. "Regina, she broke one of your windows and vandalized your place, what do you mean you don't see the need?" Before Regina can formulate a response, something that had been nagging Emma ever since she first saw Belle sleeping on the sofa, makes its way to the forefront of her mind. "Also correct me if I'm wrong, but she hurt her hands on the window when she entered the place right? I saw a lot of blood near the window and a trail of it leading up to this room."

Instead of answering, Regina stares at her hands. She can still feel the build-up of magic there, searching for an outlet, after she called it up from deep within her; readied it to meet whatever threat was downstairs. Only to find something different altogether. And while she had managed to shape it, bend it to her will and use it to do good, to fix yet another of her past mistakes, it is not nearly enough to douse the fires raging through her veins.

It also makes her feel weak and exposed and she can't deal with that, not while also dealing with one of the people that frustrated her to no end.

"Could you take her away please?" Regina asks softly as she steals a quick look towards the large winding stairs she can only barely make out through the open door. She can only pray that the noise and yelling hadn't penetrated her sleeping spell. So far it seemed like the odds were in her favor. But the longer Emma and Belle were here, the more likely it became that she would have to do some damage-control eventually. And on top of everything else that had happened this night so far, she doesn't have the energy to deal with this too.

"I don't understand."

"I can explain some of it later," Regina says and Emma sees her looking once more at the open door, leading out to the hallway.

And then she does understand. "Oh," she mutters out, subdued. She had almost forgotten, strangely enough, since she had been frequenting Regina's house quite a lot over the past few weeks. "Right, well if you help me to get Belle into my car, I'm sure I can figure out a way to transport her over to a cell."

Emma is slightly relieved when Regina doesn't argue, but wordlessly helps her to carry Belle towards the cruiser parked haphazardly onto the curb.

"Thank you for helping out with this."

"I still don't understand what this really is, but you're welcome I guess," Emma says as she watches Regina quietly for a moment. There's a look in Regina's eyes she can't place, but she swears she has seen it before. Probably before everything went to hell. "I'm surprised Tink didn't wake up though, after all the racket Belle must've made."

"I used a sleeping spell," Regina explains as she throws a quick look across her shoulder towards her house.

"Still having nightmares?"

"Don't we all dear," comes the cryptic response. Before Emma can ask for clarification though, Regina is already making her way back towards the mansion. "Thank you, once again."

Emma watches Regina go, until the door of the mansion closes and she finds herself staring at it instead. Her eyes flit briefly towards her right hand, eventually settling on the softly snoring 'guest' that's occupying the backseat of her car. She closes her eyes for a second and sighs deeply before driving towards the station.

-x-x-x-


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N:**__ Just a small notification here. This fic was started before the season premiere aired. I wanted to write a story in which Regina had someone she could kinda confide in..make friends with in a way. And then I saw the stills with Tink and was like; yes that might work. Otherwise anything in this story plays after Neverland/Henry's rescue and doesn't follow canon. (obligatory warning for major char deaths, all off-screen however)_

* * *

-x-x-x-

It had been very soft, but it was there. Someone had called out repeatedly and Emma clutched the bag holding her lunch tightly as she raced through the doors towards the holding cells.

"Is anybody there?!"

"Nice to see you're awake," Emma gritted out as she started to unpack her lunch. For a moment she had wondered if something had been wrong, because it sounded like someone crying out for help. But a quick once-over had confirmed to Emma that Belle seemed to be doing just fine. At least if you ignored her frazzled appearance and the bloodshot eyes which followed Emma's every move.

"Can I be let out?"

"I don't know," Emma tilted her head to look right at Belle as she took a large gulp from her cup of coffee, "can you?"

"Just how drunk was I?" Belle rubbed at her eyes and yawned.

"Drunk enough, trust me."

"I…" Belle slumped back down on her bunk, cradling her head in her hands. "My head is killing me."

"What do you remember?"

"Not much but..I do...my hands, I injured them?"

Emma thought about the amount of blood she had seen in Regina's house and it made her wonder for a moment of just how badly Belle had cut her hands.

"She healed me, didn't she?"

It was phrased as a question, but Emma knew it was more of a statement of facts. Belle sounded confused, her brows knitted into a frown as she kept turning her hands around in her lap, as if searching for the wounds that were no longer there.

"So you do you remember that then," Emma said, as she took a small bite from her club sandwich.

"I remember things I don't want to remember." Belle's eyes shone with unshed tears as she looked right at Emma through the bars of her cell.

"You went to her house because you blame her don't you?"

"She got him killed, so yes," Belle exclaimed bitterly and few tears made their way across her cheeks, while a fire burned behind her eyes.

"You don't understand," Emma said softly and placed her sandwich down onto a napkin as she made her way over to Belle's cell. "You weren't there. You don't have a clue about what everyone went through, the things we had to deal with. But I can tell you that it wasn't Regina's fault, it was everyone's faults and if you want to hear the whole story I suggest you talk to her. God, if nothing else, the way you trashed her place, she deserves an apology at least."

"She held me captive for 28 years, Emma, I owe her noth.."

"Don't bother playing that card with me Belle. I know what she did, how many lives she fucked over, mine included. But I also know the man you loved was responsible for a great deal of pain and sorrow on his part, so just don't okay? You wanna hold a grudge, that's fine, but if you ever pull a stunt like that again I'll have you locked up far longer than a single night."

For a minute, all that Emma got in return was intense glaring and Belle's jaw clenched tightly as her fingers held the bars of her cell into a death grip. "Does this mean I'm free to go then?"

"Yeah..fine," Emma conceded as she yanked the keys from her desk. She caught Belle's dull, pained eyes with her own. "You should talk to her, hear her side of the story. Or at least talk to Tink, since she was there as well." Unlocking the cell-door, Emma's puffed her cheeks and exhaled slowly when it looked like there was no response forthcoming.

But then Belle turned around, mid-way towards the exit, a guilty look on her face and hands played nervously with the hem of her wrinkled shirt. "I know what you said is true but..I miss him," Belle confessed as her eyes brimmed with fresh tears again. "I really miss him so much," she whispered and turned around, leaving through the open door.

Emma swallowed around the sudden lump in her throat and seated herself on top of her desk. She reached for the sandwich, but stopped when she noticed how badly her right hand shook. Phantom pain spiked through her arm and she choked back a sob, grabbed the sandwich with her steady left hand and angrily deposited it into a nearby trashcan.

Suddenly, she no longer had an appetite.

-x-x-x-

The liquid in the set of glasses she had been holding sloshed dangerously close near the rim as she stopped dead on her tracks. Regina held herself perfectly still, quietly observing the woman sitting on a small chair in the middle of the garden. Her head was tilted, staring up at the clear star-filled sky, a wistful, innocent look on her face which made Regina's stomach twist itself into knots. It felt like she had been thrown back into the past. Into a youth which had been troubled, but sprinkled with the occasional moments of happiness.

And, the longer she thought about it; into a past filled with way too many painful memories.

"Are you going to keep standing there gawking at me, or are you actually going to introduce me to this special red wine you were boasting about earlier."

Though surprised by the breach of silence initially, Regina managed to recover from it quickly. "You always were way too observant for your own good."

"Hmm," Tinker Bell hummed noncommittally. Her eyes sparkled; almost seeming to dance along with the fire of the torches placed at intervals around the garden as she turns her head to look right at Regina. A lazy smile curved the corners of her lips upwards while she wrapped her fingers around the stem of the glass being offered to her. "Thank you."

Nodding, Regina placed her own glass on the small wooden table and seated herself on the empty chair next to Tinker Bell. She smoothed out imaginary wrinkles on her blouse, even recognising it herself for what it was; a futile attempt to distract herself. Her thoughts wandered as she reached for the glass and took a small sip. She never was one for small talk and with all the questions that she had yet to ask, that could ruin things in so many ways.

"You didn't say anything about your meeting yet dear. Would it be wrong for me to assume it did not go as expected?"

"Not wrong, no," Tinker Bell said as she traced the rim of her glass absentmindedly. "Reul Ghorm was under some sort of impression that you were holding me hostage here." Her lips curled up in amusement as she continued, "she also seemed to think that despite our past differences, that I should still be living with the other fairies at the convent. Past differences...as if what she did to me was of no consequence to anyone, especially me. She didn't even apologize for it Regina. I just..I got really mad and told her I would continue to stay with you instead of over there. Needless to say she wasn't exactly happy to hear that. She even warned me that I didn't have a clue who you were now, that you'd changed a lot from when I first met you."

Regina took in the vaguely amused expression on Tinker Bell's face and wished that she could dismiss the Blue Fairy's words so easily herself. "She might be a fool, but she was also right as well. Do not mistake me for the same person as I was all those years ago."

"If that's your attempt to scare me off you need to do a.."

Regina stepped up angrily from her chair, balled her hands to fists and turned to face her companion. "Did you not see what I was capable of in Neverland, Tinker Bell? Witnessed up close the way I crushed the life out of a person? I have changed. The Regina you knew was a naive weak little girl and she's gone. She has been gone for a long time now." Pursing her lips to a thin line, Regina shook her head and anger gave way to sadness as she averted her eyes away from Tinker Bell's inquisitive gaze. "I'm tired," she said, knowing fully well that it was nothing but a cheap excuse to escape out of this particular conversation, "I will retire for the night, It's already late. Would you kindly close up when you head inside."

"Why do you keep doing that?"

And Regina knew she should walk away from that inquiry. Head inside like she had been planning to. But she didn't. She just stood there, rooted to the spot, mouth opening a few times to utter some kind of scathing remark or perhaps; more excuses still. But she didn't. And eventually she found herself irrevocably turning around to a pair of wounded blue-grey eyes meeting her own.

She knew the question behind the question. And the answer to it as well. All the little signs which together pointed to the fact that she had failed at her mission to keep her distance this time around. She didn't know who she had been fooling, thinking that they could never be the people they were before. They could never be friends like that again. Not after all the damage that had been wrought in the past.

"Do what dear?"

"End our conversations like that. The moment they veer towards our past, you clam up or you just shut me down. Don't treat me like like that Regina, like I'm fragile, because of what happened in Neverland. I think you forget sometimes that I've lived a great deal longer, seen a far deal more than you have."

"That might be true, but nothing ever happened to you personally." When Tinker Bell gave her a confused look, Regina clarified, "your nightmares. You didn't have those when you were a fairy. You saw things, but you were never affected by them personally."

Tinker Bell's bottom lip quivered and for a moment, Regina thought she was going to cry. But all she ended up doing was scraping her throat a few times, before staring up at the sky, much like she had been doing when Regina initially stepped into the garden minutes ago.

"You're right, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking like that. I'm..not used to thinking like that," she murmured softly.

She remained silent for a long time after that, and although some of the earlier tension had dissipated, Regina was feeling decidedly uncomfortable with the turn their conversation had taken. It had been too long since she'd wanted to reach out to someone. Someone that wasn't Henry. She wanted to, but she was also consciously aware of how out of her depth she really was; too afraid in essence to say the wrong thing. In the end, she chose to stay silent. She walked up to a waist-high wooden fence, protecting one of her flower-beds and used it to anchor herself, crossed her arms and watched Tinker Bell's stargazing from a small distance away.

"I'm not used to a lot of things," Tinker Bell said after a few minutes had passed in silence. "The sky here is so different. There are more stars but...they were brighter over there. I spend so much time watching them, studying the constellations. Sometimes, when there were no clouds, everything sparkled, like tiny diamonds in the sky and it was just so captivating. I'd fly upwards, soar as high as I would dare, imagined that if I could just fly high enough I could reach out and capture one of them. Something to have forever. Something that didn't perish with time, as everything else did all around me in the Enchanted Forest. I suppose that was the draw that Neverland had on me. The illusion of something magical that I didn't have to govern, that was ingrained into the very soil of that world. With time standing still for everyone, it was perfection."

"But an illusion still," Regina spoke up softly. She watched, while something twisted deeply inside of her, as Tinker Belle's head dipped to stare at the folded hands in her lap.

"Yes, an illusion. I always knew that Peter's promises were empty, that there was manipulation seeping through with every word he spoke. But I did not want to see, I did not want to know. It did not affect me after all. After spending years in Neverland and knowing that Reul Ghorm would likely take away my powers if I returned, I no longer even wanted to return to the Enchanted Forest."

Tinker Bell's body twisted a little on her chair, into an uncomfortable unnatural position. Blue eyes; brighter than Regina had ever seen them due to the backdrop of the light the torches provided, seemed to look right into her very soul with a piercing intensity. "Isn't it ironic that just like before, your arrival, your mere presence nearby changed everything in a blink of the eye."

She didn't know why the things Tinker Belle said mattered to her, why those words affected her so much, when they really shouldn't. Not after so much time had passed. She could feel the twisting inside of her getting worse as Tinker Bell continued to stare right at her, as if she was trying to figure something out. Or get a reaction out of her. And Regina didn't know how to respond to it. Her first instinct was to lash out, to not be drawn in even more towards this person that had already breached her defenses once. But she also knew, even as she licked her dry lips and prepared to say something, that she couldn't. Because she did care. She cared ever since she first heard of Tinker Bell's presence in Neverland and it felt like someone had ripped out the very ground from underneath her feet.

She looked back up, at the woman sitting a few meters away. Tinker Bell's gaze never seemed to have wavered while she waited for a response and Regina wondered, why even now, many months later, it still felt as if she couldn't gain any footing no matter how hard she tried.

"So, you do still blame me for your misfortune then?" Regina queried carefully, lips pursed into a thin line of displeasure.

"No, I don't blame.."

"Oh don't you now dear?" Regina interrupted her, determined to finally address some of the real issues that Tinker Bell up until now had avoided expertly. "Because I distinctly recall you telling me otherwise after I came back for you."

She spied Tinker Bell's mouth opening and closing rapidly, eyes brimming with unshed tears and Regina averted her gaze again. Because she knew, looking at her even once more would cause the memories to resurface. It would place her back into the shoes of the young girl she had been when she met Tinker Bell initially. And she couldn't go there. That girl had trusted Tinker Bell with her life, the woman she was now, didn't. Couldn't. Even knowing that it hadn't been the fairy's fault in the first place, something had been permanently broken inside of her, when Tinker Bell stopped showing up one day. Seemingly vanished without a trace, without a word of goodbye.

Regina squeezes her eyes shut at the memory. She likes to think it's that, the things from the past she clings to, that makes her words come out so harshly, accusatory even. But she knows it's not just that. It's the present, the wounds that have yet to heal. And they wouldn't, not when Tinker Bell studiously avoided discussing her nightmares and what truly caused them.

"You cursed my very existence remember? Wished that we had never met? Tell me my dear, is it him you see in these nightmares that plague you every night? Or is it me?"

"Stop.." Tinker Bell pleaded, voice broken, tears running down her face unchecked. "D-don't…"

"Not until you tell me what happened to your win.."

"Please..I can't.. I can't."

Whatever response she'd been hoping for, Regina realized it wasn't this one. And with it came the thought that she gambled and lost. She watched helplessly as Tinker Bell's entire body shook in distress, before letting out a strangled choked off sob and running past her towards the house.

"Tink wait.." Regina tried to reach out and stop her, and tears welled up in her own eyes unbidden as she saw how distraught Tinker Bell truly was.

It was the first time she called her that again, in a very long time. And a barrage of memories assaulted her, making her stiffen on the spot and watch, vision clouded with tears as Tinker Bell yanked the door open and vanished inside of the mansion without so much as another word. Without so much as backwards glance.

Regina stared at the door dumbfounded for a moment, silently debating with herself whether to go after Tinker Bell or give her some space. For a moment, as she recalls the horribly contorted expression on Tink's face, she questioned the wiseness of her decision to bring up the nightmares at all. She'd been hoping for some kind of breakthrough, but if she had to go by the way Tinker Bell had responded, she'd apparently achieved the complete opposite instead. Sighing, she wrapped her arms around herself and walked towards the table to pick up her half empty glass of wine from it; downing the remainder in one go. A voice in her head chastised her for doing so, telling her that she should sip wine from the glass delicately. Reminded her, while she was drowning in an ocean of agony; that she needed to follow proper etiquette for nobility at all times if she was ever to become the Queen she was destined to be.

The glass shattered in her hand, but the sharp pain of shards embedding themselves into her skin barely registered to Regina at all.

-x-x-x-

"You're in early." Emma jumped up a little in her office-chair with the sudden breach of silence. "I didn't think there was that much paperwork left to do," David continued, apparently oblivious to the way he had almost given her a heart-attack by sneaking up on her like that.

"Uhm, well, there is some?" She hadn't meant for it to come out as a question and cringed a little due to the intense scrutinisation she was subjected to in response.

"Are you having trouble sleeping? You seem tired and.."

"I'm fine." Not that it sounded very convincing, but after a few more seconds of silent staring contest, David finally nodded and sat down at the desk across the room.

Flipping the pen in her hand around absentmindedly, Emma bit her lip as she watched as her father rummaged through the papers stacked on his desk. "Why are you here though? If I recall correctly you told me three days ago that you wouldn't be back at the station for another week at least."

"Sn..your mother is doing a lot better actually and she uhm…" he looked at her sheepishly and scratched behind his ears. "Well she kind of wanted me out of her hair for a while, said she might even visit the mayor's office and pick up some stuff from there to read at home, something to occupy herself with."

"That does sound like she's doing better, if she's preparing to try and run the town."

"Yeah.." David mumbled and stared at some fixed point at the wall, eyes glazed over as if she remembered something. "I suppose so."

"Dad?" It felt strange to her still, calling him that, and though she had made a more conscious effort in calling her parents mom and dad, she still forgot to do so most of the time. He blinked a few times before looking right at her. "How are you holding up?"

"I think…" His voice was choked up and Emma swallowed around a lump in her throat when he cleared his throat a few times before continuing. "I'll be okay, in time," he murmured. He gave her a sad, heartbreakingly forced smile, eyes glistening for a moment, then averted them again to his desk. "We've been through alot together, your mother and I. So we'll get through this too. But we also...we would've really liked to be parents again."

She zoned out a little with that admission and thought of what it would be like. To have a sibling; a little baby brother or sister. They would grow up with parents every step of the way instead of being placed into a wardrobe and abandoned to the fates. She felt horrible for this edge of jealousy that worked its way through her thoughts, jealousy for the unborn baby that perished in the forests of Neverland without ever seeing the light of day. And it made her feel sick to her stomach to think of this, to wonder if there would be a time in the near future when this scenario would actually come true. To have to face losing her parents to a new child of theirs without ever having the chance to connect to them.

Something must've flickered across her face, even as she tried to push these incendiary thoughts away to the recesses of her brain, because when she came back to the present, it was to find David looking at her worriedly.

"You know we're always there for you right? I know that it's not exactly been the easiest of situations to adjust to, but we want to try to work this out Emma. As a family."

"David.." Emma sighed and shook her head, not really wanting to have this discussion right now. Deep down inside she dreaded what it might lead to.

"No...look, I know we haven't talked much since…what happened in Neverland, but we are concerned for your wellbeing too. I talked about it a lot with your mother but I just..it's something I never experienced before Emma, being a father, especially in a time like this. And I.." he hesitated, then stood up from his desk and paced around the office. "W-we don't know how to bring it up, and you never want to talk about it.."

"That's because I'm fine," Emma reiterated what she said a few minutes ago while crossing her arms defensively and glaring at her father. She could have done with him leaving this well alone. There was a good fucking reason she never talked about it, it was because she wanted to forget it ever happened in the first place. Which proved impossible when people kept bringing it up. She was fine, she repeated inside of her head like a mantra, just fine.

But even without looking, Emma knew her right hand had started to shake like a leaf. She balled it to a fist and tucked it in the hollow of her other arm, praying that her father hadn't noticed.

"Emma.."

"No Dav..dad.." Emma didn't even care she had played to his weakness by her calling him dad, she just wanted a change of a subject. Preferably to something that didn't involve Neverland or the acknowledgement of the fact that their extended stay in those lands had fucked all of them over in some form or way. "Please…" she pleaded softly, "not right now okay? I promise if it really starts to bother me I'll come to you guys first, but for now I'd just..I'd like to have a chance to move on from it, okay?"

He stared at her from across the room and as the seconds ticked away, Emma felt increasingly more uncomfortable with the way he studied her. She thought of something else to say to convince him, but another stolen glance her father's way revealed a change in his posture. His shoulders were slumped and he was shaking his head ever so slightly, before he walked back to his desk and sat down with a defeated expression etched across his face. "Okay, Emma. I don't want to have this ending up in an argument, or push you into talking about something you aren't ready for."

Emma flashed him a quick grateful smile. "Thank you for that, for not pushing."

He nodded affirmatively, though she got the impression that he was not at all happy to have given in to her request.

The office descended into relative silence after that, only broken by the repeated clicking of the pen in her hands. Every now and then she looked up to check what her father was doing, if he was showing any signs of making even a dent into the huge pile of documents which were stacked on his desk, untouched for weeks. She eyed her own meager handful and puffed her cheeks, expelling the air slowly again.

"You want me to take a few of those off your hands? I only have couple more of mine to sort and the town's been relatively quiet lately, so we should be through the backlog by tomorrow at the latest if we split them between the two of us."

"I think most of these are more for the record than anything," David said, flipping through the stack quickly to check the contents. "And I think you have the report about the one-sided car accident from this morning on your desk. You can take the top half though if you want to, I don't think I can concentrate enough today to get very far with them in any case. Besides, you're right, other than that car-accident, the fender bender last week and this incident with Belle I think it has been a quiet few weeks."

"Would be nice if it stayed that way for a while," Emma groused while taking over the small stack of files from one of her father's outstretched hands. Sorting through the papers, she practically felt him staring holes into her skull once more and she stopped leafing through some pages to look up irritatingly. "What?" she questioned, feeling a little confused with the contemplative look that was directed her way.

"I know from hearing people gossiping amongst themselves that Belle was misbehaving at the Rabbit's Hole and that they threw her out of the bar. But that doesn't explain how she ended up in a jail-cell or what happened in between. Since you were there that night, I was just curious to hear the whole story and whether or not you think that we need to keep an eye on her. Gold's death seems to have hit her really hard and it wouldn't do well to have her go spiralling out of control."

Emma pinched her nose-bridge and her thoughts flashed to the brush-in with Belle on the day before, when she had grabbed a coffee to go from Granny's and had almost ran into said girl on the way out. Belle had scowled at her, muttered something under her breath before disappearing inside without saying a word. Emma had wondered at the time if that was how things were going to be from now on. Even if, in her opinion, she had done the right thing by throwing Belle behind bars for the night. A part of her wished that Regina would have decided to press charges, at least it would've given her a perfectly viable excuse to have the girl locked up for a great deal longer than a single night. Somehow she doubted that the time she had spend in it, having been conked out for most of the night, had made any lasting impression on her. And her father's question about whether Belle might prove to be a danger to someone, kept bouncing around her head accordingly.

"She smashed one of the windows at the back of Regina's place, broke into the house and trashed the furniture until Regina got a hold of her and knocked her out. She called me to take care of it, so I placed Belle into custody and held her for a night. But since Regina decided not to press charges, there was nothing else I could do."

"She went to Regina's house?" David more stated than asked. He sighed when Emma nodded affirmatively. "I thought we were pretty clear when we broke the news to her, that it wasn't Regina's fault that Rumplestiltskin died. That he chose to sacrifice himself because he felt like part of Baelfire would live on in Henry when we were saving him."

The mention of Neal caused her to lose focus for a moment. And she actually had to clear her throat a few times before speaking again. The memory was still fresh in her mind. His hand slipping from her grasp. The look in his eyes. The words he said to her before he fell down and the portal closed. And then everything had snowballed out of control and she still hadn't come to terms with his loss. Or anything with else for that matter

"Belle is grieving, David, she doesn't see it that way. She's stuck in this stage of anger. Regina makes the most convenient scapegoat because she helped Rumple with her magic, not to mention the antagonistic nature of their shared history."

"I know. Well..there haven't been any other reports, so hopefully that stay in the cell made her aware of how self-destructive her behavior was. But just to be on the safe side, I could go and talk to her; make sure she doesn't go completely off the deep end."

"I don't think there's a need for that, I didn't exactly give her a choice on the matter."

David's eyebrows furrowed together into a deep frown. "Like you said though, she is grieving, Emma. I hope you weren't too harsh on her. Losing a loved one is a lot to process," he said, a faraway look in his eyes.

"So what…" she muttered, a tinge annoyed with what her father's words insinuated, "you wanted me to treat her with kid gloves because she's having a hard time?"

"Emma...all I'm saying is that Belle is going through alot right now, and I'm sure Regina can handle herself."

"Are you kidding me right now," she hissed and felt an onset of anger coming on. When he tried to cut in, she angrily interrupted his attempt. "No David, Jesus..what if Henry had been staying at Regina's for the night? Belle was too drunk to know what she was doing, too drunk to notice how deep she'd cut herself, she'd bled all over the place before Regina found her. So don't tell me she would've given any thought to it, had Henry had stumbled on her instead. There's no telling what she might've done to him in her state of mind. And even if he wasn't there, what the hell does this mean for everyone else in this goddamned town?" she gritted out through clenched teeth, her fury over her father's attempted excuses about Belle's behaviour making her see red.

She stood up abruptly from her chair, ignoring the pleading look in David's eyes completely. "What if someone else wants to take out their frustrations out on Regina, or take the law into their own hands? We should just let them, just because 'Regina can handle herself'? What kind of example would we be setting here?"

"Emma…"

"No, you know what, I'm not going to.." The rest of her words never crossed her lips and got stuck somewhere in her throat, her mind occupied otherwise as she felt how much her right hand was shaking. Shaking so badly it made her panic and grab for it with the other hand. And even then, she couldn't make the shaking abade, and she also knew without looking, that her father had likely noticed by now as well. "I..I'm going out to…" she fumbled for some sort of way to excuse herself.

"Emma…" he tried again, "wait, we should ta.."

"I'm going to uh...Granny's, for lunch," Emma finished her previous sentence, not even looking into her father's direction as she made a run for the door. She could hear him calling for her once more, but allowed the words to fly by her without truly listening to them. Yanking the coat off the rack, she made a grab for the door and rushed through it.

She never went to Granny's for lunch.

And she never returned to the station either.

-x-x-x-

"Mom?"

"Hmm yes sweetheart?" she only half listens to him as she rummages about the kitchen. She is behind the schedule when it comes to preparing the dinner and she has misplaced one of the pans to boot.

"Doesn't Tinker Bell know how to play the piano?"

Regina freezes, stirring spoon in one hand, frying pan in the other. The sight would probably be funny to anyone walking into the kitchen and seeing her standing there, slightly hunched over, frozen on the spot like a statue. The question takes her completely off guard. When had Tink moved from the study into to the living room? The last Regina had checked up on her a few minutes ago, she had been completely engrossed with some trashy romance novel.

And why the piano. Why now? They had walked past it a hundred times since they came back from the Neverland, and Tinker Bell had never given it more than a passing glance. She had thought about bringing the subject up. Suggest that they might play on the piano again, knowing it was something they both would enjoy. But there had never seemed to be a proper time for it. Especially not since the incident nearly a week ago now, that had made Tink retreat back into herself, barely speaking two words when spoken too ever since. Regina still cursef herself for pushing like that, for attempting to force Tink to confront the demons which kept her awake at night. She resetted all of the progress they had made over the course of many weeks, in the time span of mere minutes.

Sighing, she closes her eyes briefly, schooling her features into a neutral mask. "She can play the piano, but she might not be familiar with sheet music in this world." It's not a lie. She is determined to be honest to him, as much as she can be after all. Even if it concerns painful things at times. And even if she still has to have a conversation with him about the necessity of white lies in certain situations. But what she tells him is not a lie, it's merely an obfuscation of the truth. She has after all, a pretty good idea of why Tink isn't actually playing on the piano.

"She looks pretty sad," Henry says, and his face crinkles a little with childish confusion as he tilts his head to look up at her. "Can't you teach her? You're really good with the piano mom."

"Henry.." She really wants to tell him that his suggestion would probably not be a good idea right now. But she knows what would follow next, his insistence that she should try at least, or firing off of hundreds of different questions about why it wouldn't be a good idea. Then there's the barely disguised hopeful look aimed her way and whatever words she is about to say to dismiss his ideas, die in her throat.

"I could see if she wants my assistance at least," she offers up, smiles faintly at him and hopes it would prove to be enough. She glances past Henry quickly, once, her jaw clenching with the thought of what she might find in the living room. "Since I'm running a little late with dinner, why don't you grab a slice of the cherry pie leftovers from yesterday."

"Really?" The way he beams at her tugs at her heartstrings, almost making her wish she could allow him his cravings for sweetness more often. "Thanks mom," he exclaims excitedly and practically trips over himself to grab a plate and stack some of the pie on it.

She watches him silently for a moment, indulging herself a little with seeing him so happy and carefree. Like a child his age should be. It's such a contrast to the dirty and scared little boy they found in Pan's prison in Neverland. She is reminded once again of how quickly children could recover from ordeals like that. How quickly they are able to forget and overcome such traumatic experiences.

She walks into the living room and stops just shy of the door-opening. Somehow, despite the scenarios she conjured up, she is still surprised to find Tinker Bell like this.

It is strangely unsettling, the way Tink stares at the sheet music, opened up somewhere in the middle of a piece Regina had been learning to play a long time ago. Somewhere along the way she grew disillusioned with her attempts to do so, and shortly afterwards Emma had arrived in town, giving her a whole different objective to focus her attention on. Regina knows, despite her half-truth given to Henry, that Tink is likely able to read the notes perfectly fine. If she actually attempts to play it, Regina imagines she would fail at first, but persisting in her intentions, be able to master it enough to play it flawlessly. Tinker Bell always was a quick study, annoyingly so in fact.

Tinker Bell's hands are ghosting across the keys, almost like reverent caresses. And every now and then she halts on a single key, seemingly poised to press it down, but then letting her hand fall away and staring at the notes in the book unseeingly. There is a heavy feeling in Regina's heart as she observes the woman she once called a friend. Memories just shy of resurfacing, which she is barely able to suppress.

For a moment Regina considers Henry's suggestion. But she dismisses it just as quickly. Perhaps what was needs now is a little more time for things to heal up properly, before she makes another attempt to coax Tink out of her shell.

When she retreats back through the hallway and plans to finally start on preparing dinner for the evening, she almost runs right into Emma. A scowl rises up without thinking as she fixes the other woman with a piercing glare that would send any other person with proper self preservation instincts running with their proverbial tails tucked between their legs. Of course, it would figure that Emma is not one of them. Always the annoying nuisance wherever they went, never wasting any opportunity to challenge Regina or do something to rile her up. At times, in the past, before the curse broke, Regina almost come to relish their minor skirmishes, delighted in the challenge they presented to her. But this was before the clock started to tick away the seconds until her curse would be broken, and reality was going to come crashing back down on her with a thundering intensity.

"Miss Swan," she grits out on a scolding tone, "please do watch where you're going."

"I wasn't going anywhere actually, you were the one almost running into me, not the other way around," Emma mutters as she narrows her eyes. "And not the Miss Swan thing again, I thought we were over that."

Emma shakes her head when all that Regina does is stare her down, arms folded across her chest and one of her feet tapping away as if she is waiting for some sort of excuse to follow. Which, as far as Emma is concerned, hapeens around the same time as Regina starts walking around town wearing flannel clothing and flip flops.

"You know I was actually looking for you, but I stumbled onto Henry in the kitchen instead. And correct me if I'm wrong but...wasn't it you that once reprimanded me about spoiling Henry's appetite shortly before dinner-time?"

"Indeed I did. It would seem that my more frequent interactions with you subsequently have made your bad habits rub off on me as well."

Rolling her eyes, Emma is about to make a snappy, possibly slightly innuendo-laden, come-back to that, when a strange sound distracts her. It comes from the vicinity of the living-room and sounds a bit like someone pressing random keys on a piano. Emma figures there could only be one person responsible, yet when she attempts to sidestep Regina in a bid to peer into the room to confirm her suspicions, Regina immediately blocks her way.

"Regina?" Emma questions. She had seen Tinker Bell before, even interacted with her a little sometimes. Both in Neverland and after their arrival in Storybrooke. Which is why she doesn't understand why Regina is attempting to keep her away from Tink now, nor can she decipher the strange expression on Regina's face.

"I would appreciate it if you didn't go into that room right now," Regina answers evasively. She isn't about to explain to Emma Swan, of all people, that she screwed up and as a consequence of her actions, Tinker Bell isn't very accessible at the moment. She can do without the self-righteousness that seems to be rife amongst Emma's family, which would be sure to follow in the wake of that particular revelation.

"Any particular reason why I shouldn't? Did something happen to her since last week?" Then another scenario comes to her mind, and Emma is reminded of her argument with David the day before. "Please tell me Belle didn't cause more problems…"

"No it's.." Regina throws a furtive glance across her shoulder, thankful that Tinker Bell seems to be completely oblivious to her surroundings still. "Could we take this somewhere else?" Without waiting for a confirmation she leads the way towards the backyard. They pass by the dining room, where Henry is sitting and reading one of his comic-books while polishing off the remainder of the pie on his plate. He doesn't seem to notice them, and Regina is grateful for that, not keen on having to explain why both of his mothers are running off somewhere to talk in private.

Emma is surprised when Regina continues to walk through the garden, even after the door closes behind them and in theory affords them enough privacy away from prying eyes. Regina stops at a spot, partly shaded by low overhanging branches, which is secluded enough that they can't be seen by anyone walking through the back entrance and looking for them. Which she figured is Regina's intention all along. At the same time it also makes Emma question what could be so important or secretive for that matter, that Regina doesn't want Henry or possibly Tinker Bell to overhear.

"I'll just cut right to the chase Miss Swan.."

"Regina.." Emma can't help sounding exasperated. They have been on first name basis all through their ordeals in Neverland. Why the hell Regina suddenly reverts back to addressing her in a more formal way again is beyond her.

Ignoring her protestations, Regina continues where she left off before. "While I am ever so grateful for the help you've provided when dealing with Miss French's unfortunate destruction of my mansions interior, I do not see a reason why it should be brought up again. Especially not in Tinker Bell's presence. She's still dealing with her own traumatic experiences, I do not wish to worry her unnecessarily by the implication that she might not be safe in this house."

"So that's what's been bothering you lately? The thought that I might be blabbering my mouth off to whomever wanted to hear it, about Belle having done a number on your furniture? If you were so worried about my discretion, or lack thereof, why didn't you approach me about this before? Or is there another reason entirely why you've been so goddamned inaccessible and distant lately. Because at least I was under the impression that we'd really made some progress here."

"Even if there was something else that bothered me, it certainly wouldn't be something that concerned you."

Despite vowing not to let Regina's bullshit rile her up, Emma can't stop herself from getting frustrated by getting absolutely nowhere with her inquiries. She might as well have be trying to punch through a solid steel wall.

"You know, I thought the idea of these so-called weekly family dinners was to establish a level of mutual trust between us, to give Henry more stability in his life. Especially after he lost his father without ever getting to know him. "

"I do not see what these dinners have to do with.."

"It has everything to do with it!" Emma hisses out, not even bothering anymore to reign in her slowly rising anger. "Goddamnit Regina, when you called me in the middle of the fucking night and asked me for help, I didn't even question it, I drove over without bothering to ask for an explanation. And afterwards, even though you weren't very forthcoming with information on what Belle had done and said exactly, at least there was the thought in the back of my head that you trusted me enough to ask me for help. So it has everything to do with these dinners and our every interaction since we got back to Storybrooke. Since I thought if I had to name one positive thing that had came out of the fuckery that was Neverland, it would've been that we had each other's backs with these sort of things. And I've seen the near-catatonic state that Tink was in when we found her, so I would've thought that you trusted me enough to ask me for help if she had some sort of relapse."

"That's just the thing though, isn't it dear?"

The way Regina takes a step forward and leans into her personal space, gives Emma pause for a moment. She stands her ground however, her eyes meeting Regina's fury-filled ones unflinchingly.

"It surely must be a family trait, this incessant insistence that just because I needed your help once in a moment of weakness, it would give you an open invitation to meddle with things which do not concern you."

"That's not..Regina, I'm not trying to meddle with anything, I'm just trying to help. I don't understand why you're making that out to be such a big deal all of a sudden, you didn't say a word when we were in Neverland."

"When will you get it into that thick skull of yours?! You trying to help just ends up making matters worse most of the time!" Regina hisses out angrily.

Yet as she looks at the woman standing in front of her, she remembers things she doesn't wish to. How it had felt to be held by those arms, how Emma's body had been wrapped all around her as she shook violently with the sobs she was unable to control anymore. The words of comfort whispered into her ears. The way Emma had done all that, and never brought it up again afterwards. Until now.

"What is this really about Regina? It's not only about me wanting to help you out, is it?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Look.." Emma attempts a more gentle tone, "if it's due to what happened in Neverland, what I mentioned just now? Because I know you're still kinda dealing with.."

"Like you are dealing with your own issues so well?" Regina interrupts.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Emma looks at Regina as she suddenly finds herself confused by the woman's question, only to quickly bring her left hand up to squeeze her other arm against her side. Regina was no longer looking at her face and her eyes are cast down, towards Emma's right hand. Even with the pressure she applies against it, her right hand is shaking against her will.

"I'm fine."

"Obviously. You are right, I have been dealing with my own demons at least, but the same cannot be said about you, now can it dear?"

"Back off alright? I don't need this from you off all people."

"Oh..so you would corner me and pressurize me about my own capabilities when it comes to dealing with getting tortured within an inch of my life, but the moment I bring up how you refuse to deal with having your hand cut..."

There are spots in Emma's vision and before Regina is able to finish her sentence, Emma grabs a hold of her arms and pushes so that Regina has to take few stumbling steps backwards to keep her balance, until the wall of the mansion impacts against her back with considerable force.

"Shut up!" she hisses out, her face inches away from Regina's whom seemed to be completely taken by surprise with the sudden move. "You have no right to…" There is a tremble in her voice as she speaks, and she has to stop to collect herself. "You don't know.."

"I know enough!" Regina grits out. Before Emma can even attempt to stop her, Regina reaches down and grabs for one of Emma's hands. The right one. The one that is shaking uncontrollably by now.

"Regina, goddamnit, let go!" Emma is growing furious as she tries to wrench her hand loose. With every second that Regina holds on, her panic rises and she can feel the blood rushing through her veins, blocking out everything else.

Regina is holding the hand into a vice-like grip as she slowly lifts it up between them, forcing Emma to look at it. "How about you sort out some issues of your own, before you lecture others about how to deal with theirs." She wants to say more, something to make Emma confront fully what had happened to her hand, but then she notices the way Emma's eyes are closing in defeat. A few tears escape, running down her cheeks unchecked.

"P-please.." Emma stammers, her entire body quivering like a leaf. All of the fight leaves her as she feels the intense pressure on her wrist. It is too much like Neverland, the feeling of pain so incredibly overwhelming, that she has felt nothing at all anymore for a while.

"Emma?" Almost immediately, Regina loosens her hold on Emma's hand. But the shaking doesn't stop and Emma keeps her eyes closed, head bowed down as she takes wheezing breaths. Without giving it conscious thought, Regina encircles Emma's wrist and starts to draw soothing circles there. "I'm sorry, had I known this would…" she trails off guiltily. She can't shake the mental image of Emma's cut off hand, still holding onto a sword, lying besides her fallen body on the dirty forest-floor. "I blamed myself for the way it happened, I should've been able to prevent it."

Emma eyes open slowly. Her vision is slightly muddled and she blinks a few times to clear it. "It wasn't your fault," she says softly. Emma is surprised to feel Regina's fingers still caressing the skin around her wrist. And even more surprised to feel how the usual throbbing pain starts to fade into something that lingers at the edge of her awareness.

She looks up in quiet wonder, to find Regina staring right back at her, an expression on her face which she can't decipher. But she catches the way Regina's eyes flit from her hand encasing Emma's wrist, and back up again. As if she isn't aware of what she is doing and a split-second later she pulls her hand away like it had been burned.

"Don't.." Emma murmurs and leans in a little more so that Regina is completely trapped against the wall. "Don't stop." Don't stop because it makes her feel..something. Something else than the phantom pain which has been her constant companion ever since that fateful day.

"Emma.." Regina can feel her heart leaping into her throat. She doesn't know what to think of her strange behaviour.

She can feel Emma's presence all around her. Warm exhaled air tickles her skin, the rough wall scrapes against her back. It is stirring up feelings she hasn't realized she had, up until now. And she can't escape from them, from Emma. The only way out would be to push her away and pushing her away seems to be something she is no longer capable of.

"Don't.." Emma repeats.

Emma tries to capture one of Regina's wrists, only to have her pull away, retreating even further into the wall behind her. If she could just.. All that she can think of is drowning out the pain, in any way she can and she needs… She just needs. Any moment now, Regina would leave, and she would lose this too. Like she did everything else and she just.. leans in with closed eyes and hears a gasp of surprise moments before her lips press against Regina's. She can feel Regina freezing up, her lips unmoving beneath Emma's own, but she doesn't pull away either and Emma slides their lips together again and again. She keeps the contact light, fleeting, only to suddenly stop as she feels Regina's hands pressing against her chest.

For one heart stopping moment, she fears she might be pushed away, rejected, but then she sees the way Regina looks at her, her darkened eyes locking with Emma's. The hands on her chest scrabble up, settling into her hair and the nape of her neck and pull her in for another kiss, almost bruising in its intensity. Emma melts into it and opens her mouth more fully to deepen their kisses. Regina tugs Emma's lower-lip into her mouth, flicks her tongue teasingly against Emma's own, and she can't help but moan deeply in response.

Breaking the kiss for a moment, she laves the skin along Regina's jawbone with wet licks. Regina pants and releases soft little noises of pleasure which encourage her on and Emma settles one of her legs between Regina's, pressing against her lightly, enjoying the rumbling purr she gets as a reward for her move.

She is about to move back up, wanting to steal more kisses, wanting more of this in general when she feels Regina's hands press against her shoulders. Light at first, the pressure soon increases, hard enough to send Emma stumbling backwards.

At first she's confused by the sudden action, confused and still slightly flustered all over from the way they have been kissing. But then she hears it too. Henry calling out for them, and by the sounds of it he was getting closer.

"We're in the backyard Henry," Regina calls out as she smoothes out her rumpled clothing. Wiping away her smudged lipstick with the back of her hand she casts a quick glance at Emma, an unreadable expression on her face. Then she turns around and walks away without another word.

And Emma just watches her go, letting herself fall against the wall for support, unsure of what the hell she just did. But it had felt good, uncomplicated, and the way Regina had responded made her think it wasn't just herself that felt that way. She licks her kiss-swollen lips, staring after Regina, but the pain clawing at her hand intensifies again now that there was nothing to distract her away from it anymore. And that pulls her back into the reality of the situation, the reasons why she sought out Regina in the first place.

Gnashing her teeth in frustration she balls that same hand into a fist and pounds it against the wall once, hard, feeling the skin around her knuckles breaking but not caring for the damage she has done. At least it feels real. And it would pass again. While she never quite seems to be able to rid herself of the phantom needles prickling along the skin of her right hand.

Swallowing thickly, she realizes that she also can't stay here. Pretend that nothing has happened while she tries to have a dinner together with the woman she just kissed senseless moments ago, and the son they shared between the two of them.

She finds them both in the kitchen, engaging in small-talk while Henry observes Regina preparing a meal for them. Watching them quietly for a moment, Emma sucks in a long deep breath between her clenched teeth before making her presence known.

"I uhm.." she fumbles, dodging Regina's piercing gaze.

Her face is still a blank mask, betraying nothing of what was going on beneath it. It confronts Emma once again with the reality of how misleading these kind of facades can be. For sure she hadn't imagined those hands pulling against her neck, pressing their bodies and mouths more firmly together. The breathy moans that she swallowed with every scorching kiss they shared.

"I don't really feel so well," she continues, ignoring the disapproving look shot her way and the another set of eyes so alike his father's, that settle on her. "So I'm going to skip dinner this time, if that's okay with you two?"

"I see."

Not the response Emma realises she has been hoping for. But maybe Regina will see it her way. That they both can use a little space after their argument, and especially after the way it had escalated into something else entirely.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow-night, after I'm done with my shift, okay kid?"

"Okay..sure you're not going to stay? We're having mac and cheese."

"No, I'm good," Emma says, offering up a tight-lipped smile. She thinks about bringing up Tink, wondering if she needs to know that Emma isn't going to stay over this time, but then thinks better of it. It is what had started the whole thing after all, and Emma isn't going to push her luck.

It isn't until she places a hand on the handle of her car-door, that she realizes it had started to shake again. And there is nothing to distract her from it this time.

-x-x-x-


	3. Chapter 3

-x-x-x-

She had no idea what woke her up at first. Bolting upright instantly, Regina reached for the switch of her bedside lamp and checked the time on her alarm-clock. She was out of the bed before she even managed to open her eyes completely. Almost automatically she grabbed the bathrobe off the chair where it had been hanging these days, instead of its usual spot on one of the coat-hangers in her closet. There had been one occasion too many of fumbling for it blindly in the obscuring darkness of her room, for her to adhere to the normal strictness about not leaving any articles of clothing lying around.

She found herself just next to the door, hand already outstretched to yank it open when it hit her. There was no sobbing or whimpering coming from inside of the room. Scrunching her brows together, Regina thought for a moment if there had been any noise at all. Whatever had awoken her, it would seem it wasn't Tinker Bell having nightmares this time around.

Just to be safe side, she turned the handle slowly and opened the door barely a sliver of the way, but enough for Regina to ascertain that Tink was sleeping soundly for a change. It took a moment or two for her eyesight to adjust to the overwhelming darkness clinging to the guest bedroom, but eventually she made out the outline of Tinker Belle, sleeping on her side facing the door, a wealth of blonde hair spilling all over the pillow her head was resting on. Regina couldn't make out her expression from where she was standing, but Tinker Belle seemed peacefully asleep from what she could see. And she breathed a little easier upon coming to that conclusion.

Closing the door again with a quiet little snick, Regina checked the hallway for anything that might've been out of the ordinary. She had been too occupied with making her way to Tink's bedroom to take notice of her surroundings before, but now that she knew for sure that Tinker Bell hadn't woken her up, there was the question of what had.

Regina almost reached the stairwell before she spied the flickering of light, casting the faintest of shadows on the walls next to it and immediately her heart-rate sped up. Instinctively she seeked out her magic, forcing it to the front of her mind and ready for immediate usage should there be a need for it. Regina swore under her breath and hoped that it wasn't Belle on another of her drunken escapades, she was unsure of what her reaction would be if it was. Once had been more than enough, even with how she sympathised on some level with the heartbroken woman. There wasn't just Tinker Belle to consider this time; Henry was staying over for the night, and having them both run the risk of ending up in danger made her slide along a dangerous slope pertaining to unleashing the full capacity of her magic.

It prickled along her skin as she slowly moved down the stairs, close, so close to how it had felt when she had given it free reign. Coursing through her veins with all of the alluring promises to go along with it. She had needed to, over there; To become something she had suppressed for so long when she'd slumbered the years away in Storybrooke. She had held on to it, used the sharp focus to help them all save Henry from Pan. It wasn't until days later, when she had crushed the hearts of the people responsible for kidnapping her son in the first place, that she had let it go. Let Henry's voice guide her back to the present. And all that remained was utter darkness, until she had awoken back in one of the cabins on the Hook's ship.

She had felt empty then, despite the knowledge that they had won, that they had succeeded in freeing Henry. It was the price it had cost all of them. She had kept her own a secret from everyone. Her renewed struggle with magic, the shadowy tendrils that now entangled her heart. Time would make them fade away, just like before. But until then..she struggled.

Her vision was shaded in purple as she walked up to the living room. Magic pressed against the hold she had on it, seeking an outlet where she let it have none. The soft hum of people speaking filled her ears, confusing her for all but a second before she understood where they originated from. Or what for that matter.

The television was on, showing what she thought to be some kind of comedy series. She had seen it before sometimes, though the name of the show eluded her completely. Every now and then a laughing track played, distracting her for a moment before she noticed the crop of brown hair peeking out from the stack of pillows on the couch.

Regina swallowed thickly, splaying her hand against the doorframe for support as she willed her magic to disperse itself again. She had found the source of the disturbance that had woken her up. And right now the only danger was the strain of conjuring up of so much magic was placing on her body.

"Henry.." she whispered as softly as she could manage. Her goal had been to notify him of her presence, while not spooking him too greatly. Though judging from the small jerking motion as he sat upright against the couch, eyes wide as saucers as he turned to look at her, she hadn't quite succeeded in her effort.

"It's alright sweetheart," she tried to reassure him, "I'm not angry or anything. Couldn't sleep?"

His head dipped, chin nearly on his chest while he murmured his response, "I-I didn't want to try again."

"Because of the darkness?" Regina felt her heart clench painfully when he nodded at her. And it was only then that she understood where the light which had caught her attention came from. He had moved one of the standing lamps from the corner of the room. Moved it so his body as well as most of the couch was awash in the bright light emitted by it. At the same time her eyes skimmed across the coffee-table, not too surprised to find the large flashlight he always carried with him standing on top of it, within easy reach.

"The lamp on my nightstand broke and I couldn't find my flashlight at first…"

There was a little hitch in his voice at the end of the sentence, a hint of the panic he must've felt when he couldn't right away turn on any lights as he woke up. Something twisted deeply inside of her with the thought. Sometimes, when his fear of the dark really got to him, it made Regina wish that she would still able to get her hands on the people responsible for causing her son so much distress. But they were dead and it hadn't been very satisfying when she crushed their hearts the first time around. She sincerely doubted that if she had the chance again, that would change. And it would do nothing to help Henry to dwell on it more, she has to remind herself.

"It could be the lightbulb, do you want me to check it for you right now?"

"No..I broke it…" he muttered, eyes glued to the television, but Regina knew he wasn't actually watching the show. "It fell down on the ground."

"It's just a lamp sweetheart," she said softly whilst sitting herself down next to him. She placed a hand across his shoulder and tried to get him to lean into her side, tried to offer him some comfort worthlessly, while at the same time being a little fearful he might reject the gesture. Though things had changed between them and he sometimes stayed over now, there was still a lot more ground to cover. A memory of his dirty little hands wrapping themselves around her neck while he buried his tear-streaked face into her chest, sobbing out his relief at having been rescued, came to her unbidden.

"I'll buy you a new one tomorrow, alright?"

"Okay."

They sat in silence for a while, and Regina couldn't remember the last time she actually enjoyed watching television with him being next to her. Before the curse broke, her mind supplied, though he'd been watching cartoons and she'd been too preoccupied with Emma Swan's arrival in town to actually pay him much attention.

"Do you want to talk about what woke you up?" She felt the tensing of his muscles below her hand and sighed quietly under her breath. "We don't need to if you don't want to, we can talk about something else instead."

When he didn't say anything in response, Regina wondered if she should've let it be. For all of her so-called good intentions lately had failed to bear any fruit. Some, with the thought of Tink's avoidance in the back of her mind, had seemingly even made things worse

"Henry…"

"Did you have a fight with Emma? Is..is that why she didn't stay for dinner?" He blurted out and Regina's mouth fell open in surprise. Of all the questions he could've asked her, she hadn't expected this one. But he had always been far too observant for his age, noticing straight away when something was out of the ordinary. Like Emma's uncharacteristic behavior the day before.

"We..we had an argument, but we..talked it out." She neglected to tell him what else happened. How they resolved their argument. She wasn't even sure herself what had transpired in the backyard. The way Emma had kissed her. The way she'd returned it so quickly. Had allowed herself to be swept away like that. "She didn't leave because of that," she added, letting her hand wander up and ruffle through his hair. It was getting pretty long and she added a mental note to schedule a hair-cut for him sometime during the coming week.

"When she grabbed her jacket, her hand was shaking."

And God, she didn't really have an appropriate reply ready to respond to that. Emma had practically begged her not to tell him and so far he hadn't raised the question. But even as they rescued him and he hugged them both in turn, she had known it would come up eventually. These kind of things always did.

"Emma is dealing with some personal things right now. It might be the stress that causes her hand to shake, don't worry about it too much, she just needs some time and space."

Instead of answering, he extricated himself from her and looked up, a suspicious glint in his eyes that she couldn't help but feel dismayed over. There used to be a time, when he barely reached her knees, he had only looked up at her with pure adoration.

"It's because of what happened in Neverland isn't it?" he muttered, head dipping downwards again. "She got hurt there didn't she? Because of me…"

"Henry no.."

"Everything is so different now, after we got back here. No one is happy anymore, and it's my fault, if I hadn't let them take me to Neverland...I should've tried to fight them, but I didn't, I froze up. I failed everyone...and now everything is all wrong…"

His bottom-lip is quivering and there were unshed tears brimming in his eyes. It was enough for Regina to ignore his protests and pull him into her embrace. Wrapping her arms tightly around him she placed feather light kisses across the crown of his head.

"If you had fought them, they would've hurt you, you did the right thing sweetheart. It's not your fault, none of it is. Things will get better for everyone, it's just going to take some time."

His hands grasped her bathrobe almost desperately, and there was the low but distinctive sound of him crying softly. A few tears of her own made their way across her cheeks, and she rubbed them away quickly with the sleeve of her robe. She held him for a while longer, even after he quieted down. She whispered soothing words into his ears, though she had no idea of what else to tell him, how else to take away this guilt that he was feeling. A part of her even thought that if anyone should be blamed it was her, but she pushed the thought to the back of her mind.

"Do you want to go upstairs Henry? Try to sleep a little more? I could grab the lamp from my room and place it on your nightstand until we can get you a new one."

His hands untangled themselves from her robe, but he remained close to her, leaning a little into her side and Regina felt the tears prickle her eyes anew with having him seeking comfort from her like this. Something he hadn't done for a long time, far too long for her to remember.

"Can we..stay. Here," he clarified after a moment. There was a faint smile playing along his lips as he rubbed his hands across his puffy eyes to clear them. "I want to watch more t.v. We haven't watched this show in a while mom. And they doing a marathon of last season."

"We can stay here, to watch t.v. You'll just have to help me catch up on the show."

Regina smiled when he started to explain the characters and their relationships. Even mentioning the name of the show, though she forgot it again just as fast. She vowed to carry him upstairs the moment he fell asleep. But when he eventually did, while the first rays of sunlight peeked out from underneath the curtains, she just ended up watching him quietly for the longest time instead.

-x-x-x-

"You don't look so happy to see me."

"Happy? Why would I be.." Regina pushes herself away from the Benz and rubs her forehead wearily. "Please tell me you didn't call me to drive all this way for no other reason than the fact that you got yourself thoroughly inebriated."

"I think the word you're looking for would be 'drunk'. And I'm not, for the record, though I wish I had polished off that last whiskey, instead of throwing it into that guy's face when he was trying to cop a feel."

Emma gulps when Regina narrows her eyes in response to her quip. So much for lightening the mood a little.

"Is there a point to all this, besides reducing me to your glorified taxi-ride? I thought this was an emergency Miss Swan. One that would afford me the opportunity to return the favor, since you were so kind to help me out with Miss French two weeks ago. But it would seem I have seriously underestimated your penchant for childish pranks."

"It's not a prank, it's…" Emma hesitates, but then she takes a few more steps forward, effectively crossing the boundary of what would be considered appropriate in terms of personal space. "Well I guess this seemed like a better idea 30 minutes ago. But then again I was nursing a whiskey. Even getting myself buck-naked and using the barkeep as my own personal stripper pole seemed like a good idea back then."

Regina purses her lips and looks even more annoyed with Emma than before, if such a thing is even possible. "Is there a point to all this?" she repeats, sounding as irritable as Emma had ever heard her.

"I think you know what the point is," Emma replies silkily, taking another step forward and placing her hands on the car, on either side of Regina's head.

It is a similar move to the one she pulled just a week ago and unlike then, Regina can recognize the signs of someone coming on to her. Emma's eyes are slightly hooded as they lock with her own, and Regina finds herself hypnotised by their proximity, unable to look away from the mixture of green and blue.

"If this is your way of insinuating you'd like to continue where we left off the other day, I would have to politely decline. It was a fluke as far as those things go; I'm not attracted to you in any way."

Snorting, Emma leans in, just a hairs-breadth away from her lips, and Regina can feel her heart pounding away in her throat. Every instinct is telling her body to push this woman away, or even to use magic to do so and really get the point across. Yet she stays stock-still, both fearful of being called out on her bluff and unable to tamp down on her excitement should Emma do exactly that.

"Is that so.." Emma murmurs, removing one of her hands from the car and uses her fingers to stroke along Regina's cheekbone. She can sense the internal war that Regina is having, and it gives her enough momentum to carry on with her plan. "Because you read pretty interested to me. Tell me, do you remember that one moment on the Jolly Roger when you walked in on me changing into my clothes. The way you looked at me? I'm not stupid Regina, I know when people are attracted to me. And though I have to admit that kissing you was a spur of the moment thing initially, I really enjoyed it, and so did you."

It is too much, the memory of the kiss, the temptation of the slightly wet lips hovering near her own. Regina moves her hands up to push Emma away, only to find them being captured in a lightning-fast move that she can't believe Emma to be capable of in her current state. "Y-you're drunk," Regina curses her voice for wavering, for giving her away, "you have no idea what you're doing right now."

"For the last time, I'm not drunk Regina, I'm barely even past tipsy." She straightens up a little, but doesn't let go of Regina's hands just yet. "All it did was give me the courage to finally face up to what's been playing between the both of us. Tell me you never thought of it, think of how easy it would be."

"Are you quite done?"

"That's not really an answer to my question now is it?"

"The answer to any of your questions would be a loud and resounding 'no' Miss Swan so if you would kindly…"

Her words get cut off as Emma pushes her hands across the hood of the car, making her body bend along the length of it, her back pressing fully onto the cool metal below. Regina's eyes go wide, and she starts to struggle in earnest. The magic hums beneath her skin, ready to be used, but to her utter surprise and disbelief, it fizzles just as quickly wherever Emma's hands are grasping her own.

"M-my magic," she stutters out, "what the hell are you doing?"

"The real question would be, what I'd do if we weren't out here, in public."

Regina is too stunned by Emma leaning over her; dark eyes raking across her pinned down body, to come up with any kind of witty retort.

"I think I'd like to flip you over, trap you between myself and that damned expensive car of yours. So I could snake a hand along the edge of your skirt, slip inside of you so very fucking slowly and make you ride my fingers until you cried out your release into the night."

Emma grins wickedly at the stunned expression on Regina's face. She lets go of Regina's wrists and her grin gets broader when the other woman doesn't move her hands from where Emma had pinned them. She slides her fingers across Regina's chin and cups it gently, using just the tip of a digit to trace Regina's lower lip.

"The way you kiss," Emma hums, "it kinda makes me wonder what else you can do with those lips of yours." She leans in, very lightly brushing their lips together and Regina's glittering dark eyes follow her every step of the way. Before she can do anything else, ramp up her seduction another notch, the sound of a door closing somewhere behind them makes Emma freeze and then scramble backwards a split-second later.

Regina manages to force her legs to cooperate enough for her to peel herself off the hood of her car and take a few wobbly steps forward. She glares angrily at Emma, at the damned audacity that woman had for doing what she just did. A tinge of heat still suffuses her cheeks, and there is embarrassing wetness pooled between her thighs, enough evidence that Emma's words and actions affect her in ways that leave her more than a little off-kilter.

"Uhm..I uhm…"

"I you are about to apologize for your actions or blame it on your inebriation, so help me," Regina hisses. She glances past Emma, noticing some people milling about across the street and rolls her eyes. "Get in the car before you actually manage to get us an audience with any of your other thoughtless liquor-induced ideas."

"Drunk Regina." Emma snorts when Regina just stares at her in response. "It's called being drunk, I know you like your fancy words, but it's hard enough deciphering your speech when I'm sober, let alone when I had a few drinks. Also it was a great idea, your nipples seem to agree with me at least."

Regina takes a deep breath, refusing to acknowledge Emma's observation. "Just..get in the car."

"So you are going to drive me home after all, does this mean…"

"No, it doesn't mean anything, and no, I will not be driving you to your own house."

"Your house?" Emma smirks, "I approve, I imagine your bed is probably bigger than mine."

"Could you please...stop? I am not going to sleep with you!" Regina grits out, her jaw working furiously as she glares daggers at Emma. She opens one of the car doors and is relieved that after a moment of hesitation, Emma shrugs and wriggles her way inside. Though not before she brushes her hand across Regina's nipples, still sensitive enough to the touch to make Regina stifle a gasp.

"Oops..."

Ignoring Emma completely, Regina nudges the passenger side door shut with a solid push and briskly makes her way around to the other side of the car. She opens the door and slides in gracefully, without giving Emma on the other seat a single look. The engine comes alive with a low rumble and Regina pulls the car from the parking lot onto the road, turning it towards the direction of her mansion.

Emma looks towards Regina for a while, but when the only thing breaking the silence is the sound of a steadily accelerating car, she eventually turns to look out of the side window as street lamps flicker by them.

After a while, blurred scenery rushing past starts to make her feel queasy, reminding her about the drinks she downed not long ago and she averts her gaze back to Regina, who still seems intently focused on the task of driving.

Sighing, Emma leans her head back against her seat and takes a look at the rear view mirror, staring at Regina via it until the woman glances into it to check for the traffic and locks eyes with her. "I was thinking.. I just don't get it, why are we driving to your place? I sort of expected you to just drive off and just leave me standing there instead."

For a moment Regina keeps looking back at Emma's eyes in the mirror, then quickly returning to look at the road in front of them and letting out a breath. "If I had left you standing there, there would've been a substantial risk you'd gone back to drinking yourself into a stupor."

"Actually no, that whiskey I mentioned earlier would've been the last I was going to down for the day. If that perv hadn't interrupted it half-way through that was. Shame too, it was really good whiskey," Emma grumbles. "And what does it matter to you whether I continued drinking or not? You know that Henry is with my parents, camping in the woods for the rest of the week, so it's not as if he would've been exposed to anything either."

"Are you so slow on the uptake that you don't understand my experiences with drunk people aren't exactly encouraging to say the least?"

Emma huffs, drawing circles on the window as she tries to follow Regina's thought-pattern and idly she notices that they are nearing Regina's mansion. "If we are talking about Belle, then that would be one of the reasons I actually stopped drinking. Though I would've thought you'd to know me better by now than to go around and trash people's places while wasted. Even with what purpose I had in mind, I would've never let it get that far."

Regina looks over at her once but says nothing, and a few seconds later the car slows down, coming to a stop in front of Regina's house. She kills the engine and unbuckles her seat belt and turns in her seat to face Emma. "I understand what made you stop, but what made you start?"

"I think you know, which is the reason you're asking in the first place isn't it?" Gnashing her teeth together, Emma unfastens her own seat belt. "I still don't want to talk about that. Now, since you are so adamant on making sure I'm not going to do anything stupid, go ahead and show me where I'm supposed to crash. I'll sleep this off and then I'll be on merry way again."

"I could help you, you know?"

"How? With magic?" Emma questions, a little confused on the sudden turn the conversation had taken.

"That's one option."

"No," Emma answers immediately, a little more vehemently than she intends. "I appreciate the way you helped me out in Neverland, but..no okay? For all you know it's just going to end up making things worse."

"So you won't even consider the possibility of magic easing your pain, but you are all too willing to use liquor or sex as a means to cope with your trauma instead."

Emma looks at her in surprise, pausing just as she curls her fingers around the door handle. "How did you.."

"Know why you wanted to sleep with me? You'd be hardly the first person to try and forget things by using sex as an escape-mechanism dear."

Pulling open the door and stepping out, Emma's eyes briefly lock with Regina's over the roof of the car. "It's not just about the sex," she admits grudgingly, "y-you were..it hurt when you squeezed my wrist. But when you touched me..more gently..it helped. I don't know why..but it helped, it did something to me, it was like my hand felt like my own again. Not some phantom limb that I lost for almost a day; that's caused me nothing but pain ever since."

Emma's explanation brings some clarity to her motivations and Regina suddenly understands everything that had transpired in her backyard a week ago. As well as Emma's avoidance ever since.

She walks up to Emma, already waiting at the front door of the mansion, and without another word reaches for her right hand. Emma's response is immediate, her eyes fly to Regina in surprise, while she tugs at her hand frantically in an attempt to free it.

"Emma…" she tries to break through the panicked haze the other woman seemed to be in. "Don't look at your hand, look at me."

After a moment's hesitation, Emma complies, though her posture remains tense and her eyes still hold something of an edge of desperation in them. Slowly, after she is positive Emma wouldn't pull her hand away the moment she relaxes her hold, Regina moves her fingers downwards and encircles Emma's wrist. She mimics the same movements she had used in the backyard, slow, gentle caresses and the effect on Emma is noticeable. Her face loses its pinched expression, becoming more and more relaxed with every pass of Regina's fingers trailing across her skin.

"If this helps," Regina says softly, swallowing as Emma directs an intense look at her. "If this helps..then some of the spells I know could help you too. And they wouldn't require for someone to touch you like this."

Emma's eyes flit between the woman standing in front of her and the slender fingers gliding across her skin. She scrapes her throat, and withdraws her hand after a few more seconds, though she is relieved to note that the tingling feeling that had settled across that arm, remained even once the contact was broken.

"Maybe..I like having you touch me."

Rolling her eyes, Regina fishes some keys from her pocket and unlocks the door. She barely has time to step inside before she feels Emma's hands on her, spinning her around. "What are you.." Her question is cut off by soft lips pressing against her own. Emma's tongue flicks across her slightly parted lips once, twice, before slipping inside to explore, making Regina grow weak at the knees.

It is over as soon as it starts and when Regina opens her eyes again, it is to find a very smug-looking Emma staring back at her. "I really wish you would stop doing that," she murmurs.

"Why? You certainly seem to like it, judging by that moan that escaped you."

"I did not…" Regina shakes her head. "Never mind, and me liking it is not the point."

"So you did?"

"Must you be so childish about everything?"

Shrugging, Emma walks up to the stairwell and tilts her head to peer up into the relative darkness of the second story. "Out of curiosity though, why are you trying to help me?"

"I have been trying to redeem myself...isn't this what good people do, help others?"

"You know I'd almost buy that answer," Emma says, studying Regina for a while from the corners of her eye. "Especially since our fun trip to Neverland. But that's not the entire reason is it?"

"No, it's not. You could say Neverland changed my perspective on certain things." Regina looks up, right into Emma's eyes as she speaks. "I would imagine it's the same way for you."

Their eyes lock and hold for a long drawn out moment, before Emma gets uncomfortable, feeling increasingly more exposed the longer Regina's intense brown eyes are focused on her.

"So...I assume you have a room for me to stay at? Or am I sleeping on the couch?"

"As amusing as it would be for me to see you attempt to get comfortable on my couch, I do have a spare bedroom for you. Follow me please."

Walking up the stairs, Emma blinks against the sudden bright light after Regina flips a switch. As soon as her eyes adjust, she looks across the hall, the amount of doors peaking her curiosity. "Tink is fast asleep I'd assume?"

"Yes.." Regina confirms, a faraway look in her eyes. "She's been sleeping a little better lately."

Emma nods, then attempts to grab hold of Regina's hips and pin her to the nearest wall. Only to have her attempt thwarted by Regina swatting her hands away.

"No."

"Regina.." Emma sighs at the vexed expression on Regina's face.

"You're drunk."

"Oh for the love of…I'm not drunk!"

"Fine, not drunk maybe, but not exactly sober either. My point stands."

Emma leans in and Regina is only barely able to control her instinctual reaction to take a step backwards. There is something predatory in Emma's eyes that makes her heartbeat accelerate and her mouth go dry. And almost makes her reconsider. Because in a way, she is on the same page as Emma. She even recalls Emma's words earlier in the evening. How easy it would be. How easy indeed. But she schooled her features into a neutral mask instead and narrows her eyes at the woman standing in front of her.

"Really, I do know what I'm doing. I also know what I really want to do. But since you're so hung up on the fact I had two and a half glasses of whiskey, we can continue this discussion when you're absolutely sure I'm sober." Emma grins at the exasperated way Regina looks at her and opens the door of the room that would be hers for the night. "Good night Regina, sweet dreams." She winks at a perplexed Regina and then closes the door behind her.

Blowing out a breath of frustration, Regina rubs at her face wearily before turning around to make her way to her own bedroom and vows to lock the door as a precaution. As she turns, she catches the movement of another door closing in her periphery and curses under her breath at the thought of who might've been watching in on her and Emma..

-x-x-x-


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N:**__ Updates will be a bit slow throughout November, my apologies in advance. I'm writing a Dark!Emma(ish) story for NaNoWriMo, and that's currently eating up most of my attention. Also as a reminder, I wrote most of this (at least the main plotlines) before any episode of season 3 aired._

* * *

-x-x-x-

The knock shouldn't come as a surprise, in fact she had been anticipating it for a while now, ever since the piano music had stopped playing. And yet when it sounded, breaking the blanket of silence permeating the room with a thunderous rap on the door, she still found herself jumping up in her chair.

Regina raised her voice a little after taking a second to compose herself. "You can come in if you want."

Fumbling a little with the glasses perched on the bridge of her nose, she skimmed over the page of the book she had been reading moments before. She didn't look up right away, not even as she heard the door being opened and then closed again, knowing there was only one other person in the house right now. In a way, she expected Tinker Bell to speak up first, clear her throat perhaps, or make any other noise to announce her presence. But all that greeted Regina was a strange uncomfortable silence, whereas it had been welcome before. Like a shift in the atmosphere, and her mood shifted along with it.

Sighing, she reached for the worn bookmark she had used for decades, slid it between the pages and closed the book with a soft thump. Folding the glasses she had been using while reading and rotating them thoughtfully between her fingers for a moment, she gently set them down on the cover of the closed book, softly tracing her fingers along its leather-bound back as she withdrew her hand. She knew she wouldn't be returning to the book any time soon, not today at least.

When she finally looked up, it was to find a nervous Tinker Bell standing right in front of the door she had entered through moments before. Her hands were balled to her sides, and her eyes; nearly grey in the dimness of the room, never settled on anything for too long before moving on to the next object.

Regina waited for a moment and was rewarded for her patience, when after another long minute of silence, Tink finally looked right at her.

"I was.." Tinker Bell paused and scraped her throat before trying again, "I was hoping we could talk."

"You know can always talk to me."

"I know. But you haven't, to me."

"I was trying to give you some time and space."

"By avoiding me?"

Regina arched up a single eyebrow with that particular accusation. "I thought that..." She trailed off, then closed her eyes and sighed softly. "I know it's a few weeks overdue but..I'm sorry, for pushing you like I did."

"Do you still think I blame you?" Tink asked, and Regina's mouth fell open in surprise. "Because you need to know that at that moment, I would've blamed everything and everyone. I don't anymore. And I realize this might be a few weeks overdue as well but..I really don't blame you for what happened. I never have"

Regina swallowed thickly, not sure what she was supposed to say to that. Then when she looked right at Tinker Bell again and as she saw the thoughtful, faraway expression on her face, understanding dawned on her that maybe she wasn't supposed to say anything.

"I needed to..process some things, put them into their proper perspective," Tinker Bell said as she walked across the room, towards the large window overlooking the garden. "Yet another change to get used to. I no longer have the luxury of endless amounts of time to ponder over things that happened. To poke and prod at them from different angles and figure out the right way to handle the situation." She turned around then, eyes closed as she leaned back against the window-sill. "When I close my eyes like this, it's like I'm still there. Like it's still happening. It haunts my dreams, and my every waking moment and I-I need more time... That's why I don't want to talk about it. What happened over there. And everytime I look at you, I'm reminded of it, and it's not helping me at all. So I just..I-I need you to stop treating me like I'm broken, like I'm something that needs to be fixed."

Regina frowned. Had she truly been doing that somehow, without intending to? "That's not at all what…" She sighed and steepled her fingers on her crossed legs. "I'm simply trying to look after you."

"Yes, I know how you want to look after me," Tink said, her eyes opened and revealed them to be brimming with unshed tears, "and what you see when you look at me. The fairy I once was, the wings that are no longer there. Maybe before all this, I was okay with being just that. But I am more Regina. I'm more than everything that was ripped away from me."

Regina leaned forward to pull herself up from the chair, but stopping as she noticed Tinker Bell was no longer looking towards her, but had turned to face the window once more.

"I don't even miss them, not as much as I thought I would," Tink continued, oblivious to Regina who was rendered motionless by the rawness that shone through in every single word.

"I..m-my wings." Tinker Bell's voice broke up and she swallowed audibly, "they're just…"

Regina could hear Tinker Bell breathe in deeply before continuing, and she had to actually will herself to stay quiet, to not offer up words of comfort. To listen. Even if it made her ache. Even if it made her fingers curl around the edges of the chair, nails digging almost painfully hard into the polished wood as she tried to anchor herself.

"I've had them for hundreds of years, and now they're gone. And sometimes...sometimes when I wake up the first thing I want to do is fly away somewhere. Anywhere. Only to realize a second later that I can't. That I won't ever again. And I miss that more so than I mourn the actual loss of my wings. The flying. I miss the freedom to go wherever I wanted to. Whatever I could see, I was able to reach."

Tink sighed then, wrapped her arms around herself and turned a little towards Regina. "Being grounded like this made me feel trapped initially. Still does at times actually. Especially when I stare up at the sky at night and imagine what it would be like in this world to fly again. I've wondered if it would be different here somehow, if the winds would be able to lift me higher than I've ever flown before."

Slowly Tinker Bell's lips curled up ever so slightly into what Regina could only describe as a sad melancholic smile and her heart clenched a little as a memory came to her unbidden. Of them, flying together through the star-filled skies. Back when she still believed that it was possible to escape the life destined for her. Back when everything had been so much easier than the constant state of disarray that her life had turned into. She supposes it was ironic somehow that in the end the only things left for the both of them, were the memories of happier times.

"I know it was only a few times but...I enjoyed that experience you shared with me. Flying. It was one of the few times I felt truly free."

Tinker Bell smiled again, though it was different now. This time, it was an easy, joyful smile, one that made her eyes sparkle. A smile she had enjoyed seeing so much in the past. And Regina couldn't help returning it as they looked at each other from across the room, a hint of familiarity to it which made Regina want to bask in it forever.

"I think that...a part of me will always miss that," Tink spoke up after a moment. "But there's something about this new life I'm leading; this mortality, that has made me way more appreciative of the little things. Like the books I've been reading."

"And the piano?" Regina queried.

"Yes, the piano too. I just..I don't know why but after I ran from you I kept thinking of how things were in our homelands. How we met, the things you showed me. I actually had fun for a while, especially after you showed me how to play the piano. I thought for the longest time, after you brought me here; that I could never play again. Not without being reminded of how things used to be."

"You do realize that we were both very different people back then, don't you dear?"

"I do. I used to think we were friends...then." Tinker Bell said as she tucked some stubborn ringlets of hair behind her ears. "But the truth is..we weren't, were we? That's what you're trying to say isn't it?"

A part of her really wanted to deny it. But at the same time, she knew that she couldn't. Because it was what everything really boiled down to in the end. That they had been fooling themselves, building a friendship on such shaky foundations, while they had both been aware that it was only a matter of time before it all would crumble away into nothingness.

Regina felt her throat constricting as she thought about the days she had spent wondering what she had done wrong, after Tinker Bell vanished so suddenly. Blaming herself, thinking that she hadn't been good enough to have a fairy watching over her. Until eventually the self-loathing and sadness had turned into anger and bitter disappointment.

"Our worlds were too different then, to call what we had a friendship Tinker Bell. You weren't supposed to be interacting with me in the first place, and then you gave me hope. Hope that I could escape from that empty life which I was living in a palace full of shallow people." Regina shook her head, mindful of not letting herself get caught up in the maelstrom of utter devastation she had felt, back when she had thought that the fairy had played her for a fool.

"And I resented you for that. For the longest time. For being yet another person feeding me nothing but lies and empty promises."

"I had never intended for that to happen, for you to feel that way."

"I know you didn't, and I also know that at the time you truly thought you were doing the right thing and I can appreciate that now, even if I didn't understand the circumstances behind your sudden disappearance back then."

"I wish I.." Tinker Bell sighed, "I should've told you that I was breaking the rules. Just like I should've told you that if Reul Ghorm found out I was trying to help you, the repercussions would have been severe."

Hearing the remorseful tone in which Tink was speaking, Regina looked right at her, somehow surprised at seeing something familiar shining in her blue-grey eyes. Just a glimmer of it, but she wanted to think it was real. That what they were doing now was real. And it helped her move on from what was before. A shared past littered with too many misunderstandings and uncertainties.

"I don't think it really would've made a difference had told me. It certainly no longer matters now."

Tinker Bell shook her head, eyes red and puffy. "Maybe not..I guess we'll never know won't we?" It was said with such regret that Regina couldn't stop herself from leaning forward in her chair and reaching for Tink's hands which lay folded on her lap, softly setting her own on top of them.

Squeezing gently, Regina met Tink's blinking eyes. "Even if we did know, we can't change the past. Believe me, I've wished so many times that I could."

Regina paused as she saw the curious look directed her way. "Why do I have the feeling you aren't just talking about what happened between us," Tinker Bell said with a smile playing across her features.

"Are you trying to tell me something?"

"Perhaps," Tinker Bell replied, her smile growing until it reached her eyes. "I did notice we had a guest over last night."

Regina groaned and leaned back into her chair, rubbing her temples with the tips of her fingers. "I suppose it was too much to hope for that you wouldn't bring this up. But given how annoyingly observant you are, this shouldn't have come as such a surprise."

"So does that mean you're going to tell me why Emma was sleeping here, then?"

"If you insist, but I warn you it's a long story. The short version though would be that she'd had a lot to drink and I was concerned that she would be a danger to the town as a whole, had I left her alone out there."

Tinker Bell's expression changed into something akin to horror and Regina lifted an eyebrow in a silent question. "I don't understand the appeal of that," Tink explained. "I mean I do love your wines, but I do not understand the appeal of drinking that much. The aftereffects surely aren't worth it. All I remember of that time when you first gave me an unlimited access to your liquor cabinet, was having a splitting headache the morning after and spending most of it being hunched over the toilet, thinking I was going to die."

Regina chuckled softly. But she sobered up after a moment, thinking of Emma's phone-call, and the reasons behind why she had consumed that much liquor the night before.

Casting her eyes away from Tinker Bell's inquisitive gaze, she looked at the window, at the raindrops which clung to the glass. She never truly understood why, but she had always loved watching the rain fall. She mused it must have been soothing somehow, and it helped her to sort her thoughts about how much she could reveal to Tinker Bell in regards to what Emma was going through. And her subsequent inability to decide on whether or not she should even be trying to help Emma at all.

"You actually already named the reason as to why so many people choose to consume that much liquor."

"Oh?" Tinker Bell queries, her eyebrows furrowed a little with a lack of understanding.

"All you remember, you said. That's exactly why people drink, Tinker Bell. To forget. Even if it is only for a little while."

"I see… Then I would be right for me to assume you know what she is trying to forget?"

"Yes," Regina answered simply, hoping that it would be enough for now. The toll of their conversations so far was weighing heavily on her mind, and she didn't think that talking about how she had witnessed Emma's hand getting chopped off or the mental breakdown that followed, would be something she could handle as well.

"I won't pry," Tink said as she yawned and stretched her arms. "Since I suppose it's personal and between you and Emma, but if you ever want to talk about it in some form or way I wouldn't mind. Right now though I'm a little tired, so I think i'll take a quick nap before we have dinner and leave you to reading that boring book of yours."

"Boring dear? It's intellectually stimulating, as opposed to those horrible romance novels of yours."

"Those horrible romance novels are stimulating as well, just in a different way," Tink shot back and grinned mischievously as she stood up from her chair.

Rolling her eyes, Regina nevertheless was unable to stop her lips from twitching with amusement at Tinker Bell's quip. Retrieving the book and the glasses lying on top of it from the coffee-table, she placed them both on her lap while staring after Tinker Bell's retreating form.

And her expression fell.

Because even though she vowed to herself to not see Tink as she once was, the memories were still there. It prompted a question which had been at the back of her mind ever since they had set foot on the soil of Storybrooke again.

"Tink," she called out, waiting for the other woman to turn around and face her before continuing, "I know you talked to the Blue Fairy, but did she mention at all to you if there was a possibility to have your powers restored?"

"She did," Tinker Bell said, averting her eyes and leaning back against the door frame. "She actually offered to help me become a fairy again," she added after a moment.

"And..?" Regina prompted when after a few seconds had passed, it didn't seem like Tinker Bell would be forthcoming with anything else.

"I declined."

"Why? I don't under.."

"Because," Tink interrupted, looking Regina right in the eyes as she spoke, "you're not the only one who has changed, Regina."

She smiled then, a genuinely happy smile that Regina only ever remembered seeing a few times before. All of them a long time ago.

When she looked at the door again, Tinker Bell was gone, leaving Regina alone with way too many confusing thoughts and a book on her lap she knew she wouldn't finish, not today at least.

-x-x-x-

Emma curses as she stumbles over something lying on the ground. Some of the scalding hot coffee she is holding splashes over the rim of her cup and burn her fingers in the process. She quickly switches the cup to her other hand, muttering even more expletives under her breath and blows out quick puffs of air across her sore and rapidly reddening digits.

"It's a good thing being clumsy isn't a punishable offense dear or you'd have to arrest yourself."

Emma lets out a yelp and jumps up in surprise, not having counted on another person being present in her office. The sudden motion makes the coffee cup along with its contents sail through the air before it stains the floor as well as her boots with sprays of dark brown liquid.

"Son of a…" Emma hisses out, as she fixes the woman perched on her desk with a withering glare.

Regina lifts an eyebrow and smirks smugly while she quietly observes Emma bend down to retrieve the cup and what little coffee remains in it from the floor, only to throw it in the nearest trash-can with a quick angry arm-movement.

"If you're done gloating, mind telling me what you're doing over here? Because everything about this is giving me a serious sense of deja-vu." Only then, Emma thinks as she gives Regina a once-over and remembers a Mayor instead of a former Evil Queen, things hadn't been nearly as complicated as they are now.

"Hmm.." Regina hums softly and ticks one of her nails against the surface of the desk. If she is truthful to herself, the first thing on her mind when she escaped her house earlier after staring at the letters in the book dancing in front of her eyes for far too long, wasn't exactly to go and visit the station. But somehow she ended up seeking out Emma anyways. Somehow she always does. "Well you did leave earlier this morning in quite a hurry without so much as a thank you."

"Oh that's why you're here? I would've figured we're even now, since I helped you with Belle, and you helped me last night but.. If you really want a proper thank you, I could see about giving you one," Emma mutters and saunters closer to where Regina is sitting.

Regina swallows when Emma stops right in front of her and green eyes suggestively trace her body up and down a few times before they finally center on her face. "That's not why I.." Regina trails off as she watches Emma lick her lips, slowly, and the words get stuck in her throat. "I.. Why did you leave without saying a word?" She finally asks.

Emma frowns and turns around upon hearing the question. "Why is it so important for you to know why I left like that? I would've figured you'd be glad I got out of your hair first thing in the morning. Not that I don't appreciate what you did for me but..I was kind of an ass last night wasn't I?"

"You were, so would this mean you remember everything then?"

"If this going to turn into another 'you were drunk' conversation I'm going to cut you off right here and now," Emma says with a mixture of exasperation and anger.

"Would you stop jumping to conclusions?"

"Then tell me..why are you really here Regina?"

Why is she indeed, Regina thinks as she stares down at her folded hands she has placed on top of her crossed legs. It wasn't just Emma's absence, in fact a part of her had sort of expected the woman to have vanished come morning. But she also remembers. What had transpired between them the night before. Emma's words. She'd been so close to accepting what had been offered to her. And it scares her..as she looks up again and locks eyes with Emma, it scares her that it might only take a little bit more for her to accept. To finally give in and at least have something, even if it ends up meaning so little in the end.

"Because if you remember everything that transpired last night, then you should also be able to recall the offer I made to you."

Shaking her head Emma turns away from the desk. She still doesn't want to talk about that, but there is also the nagging thought in the back of her head that if she really has to; Regina is one of the few people with whom she can really talk about it at all.

"To use magic to help me cope with what happened to my hand?" Emma questions out loud, "I thought I made myself clear enough yesterday when it comes to that approach. Like I told you a few times already; I wasn't that drunk, I really do remember everything I've said and done last night."

"Perhaps you weren't drunk this time, but what about any future visits to the Rabbit Hole?"

"Did you just imply I'm going to start drinking myself into a stupor to deal with this crap from now?"

"Am I not supposed to?" Regina says and a hint of annoyance shines through with the tone she uses. "Just because you stopped yourself from doing so this time, doesn't mean you will continue to do so in the future."

Emma's head snaps up at those words. "So you're going to do what, cast some kind of spell on me to prevent me from drinking another drop? Jesus Christ, Regina, how I deal with any of this stuff is none of your goddamned business."

"It is when other people are involved," Regina hisses as she launches herself off the desk and takes a few quick steps towards Emma. "I do not understand why are you being so difficult about this, when I can help you, and you won't need to resort to drinking to drown out your pain."

"You really don't get it do you?!" Emma yells out, her green eyes glitter with fury, "it's not just about what happened to my hand! It's about everything. Everything reminds me of Neverland, and it's not just me… I look at my parents, and all I can think of is my mother's miscarriage and I have no idea what the hell I'm supposed to do, what I'm supposed to say. And Henry.." she chokes off, turning away from Regina. "But you already know that, don't you? Half the time I don't even know if my attempts to comfort him, to soothe him, do anything to help him at all," she states bitterly. "So yes, I grab a drink every now and then because at least it dulls everything enough for me to be able to deal with it. It dulls things enough for me to not feel anything."

Regina swallows thickly and stares at Emma's back as if that would suddenly help her figure out what to say. But all possible replies elude her, Emma's monologue has rendered her uncharacteristically speechless.

"That's also why I kissed you the first time," Emma finally speaks up softly, as she reclines against one of the walls of her office, facing Regina once more.

"To what.." Regina asks, confused, "to stop feeling?"

"No, to start again."

"Is that supposed to mean anything?"

"It does to me," Emma says, as she launches herself away from the wall, "and I think, secretly, you want the exact same thing as I do."

"Which would imply you're more delusional than I initially thought you were."

Snorting, Emma walks up to Regina and cocks her head. "If that's your way of denying you're attracted to me, you really have to do a better job. Because when I bent down a few minutes ago to grab that coffee-cup off the floor, you couldn't stop looking at my ass."

Holding Emma's gaze unflinchingly, Regina gives her an unimpressed look. "It would seem it was a mistake to come here and offer you my services once again. I don't know why I bothered. Just a word of warning Emma, the next time you decide to consume large amounts of liquor and deem it a good idea to call me in the middle of the night, don't. And if you…"

She isn't able to properly finish her line of thought, because Emma moves lightning-fast into her personal space, until their faces are inches apart, and she is forced to stare right into a pair of furious green eyes.

"This," Emma breathes, as she leans in until her lips are scantily a hairs-breadth away from Regina's. "This," she repeats, "would be something we could both let ourselves sink into without it having any consequences. It would be so easy Regina. Tell me..have you never stood atop of a ledge somewhere, a cliff's edge and wondered what it would be like if you could just...let yourself fall."

"I have. Do you honestly think there's freedom in that? You can't fall forever Emma, eventually you'll end up hitting the ground again," Regina says, repressing the urge to take a few steps back and out of the danger-zone she finds herself in. "Everything has consequences and a few meaningless kisses were just that, a few meaningless kisses, and since you will apparently not listen to reason I think I'm done here."

Satisfied with the way she put an end to the discussion, Regina spins around on her heels and walks towards the door. But a hand on her arm stops her, and she sighs, and with an expression that conveys nothing but utter annoyance, she turns to face Emma.

"That's where you're wrong you know?" Emma says as she removes her hand. "How it doesn't mean anything. When it comes to you and I, everything means something," she explains but her sight is drawn to Regina wetting her lips, causing a rush of heat to suffuse her body. It is hard for her to focus on bringing her point across, when all that she can think about is Regina using that tongue for other things. Groaning softly under her breath, she blinks rapidly a few times and tries to clear her head.

"I would've thought our ordeals in Neverland were proof enough of that."

"I don't understand how.."

"Because we've seen each other at our lowest already Regina, and it didn't change anything, did it? I still see you the same way as I did before. I still want you."

"Because I'm convenient."

"No," Emma says as she takes another step forward, backing Regina against one of the office-walls, "because of the way you've kissed me back every time."

Leaning in, she flicks her eyes towards Regina's lips suggestively. For a moment she thinks Regina is going to cross what space remains between their lips and kiss her, the way her eyes darken, the way her lips part. But then one of Regina's hands moved towards her shoulder and the next thing Emma knows she is pushed backwards magically, until she can feel the impact of a desk against her back.

"Regina?" She gasps out in shock when she is pushed even further backwards, until she is forced to recline against the wooden surface of the desk. She struggles against whatever force is holding her captive, but eventually gives up and watches wide-eyed as Regina leans in, placing her hands at either side of her head.

"This isn't some game to be played Emma. I do not like to be cornered, and you've done so multiple times now, enough is enough."

"I didn't.." Emma sputters, "It's not a game." Then she looks up at Regina, moving her head just a fraction of the way so she can look the other woman right in the eyes. There is doubt there, hesitation, something fragile that Regina is so desperately trying to hide, and suddenly her actions make a lot more sense. "It's not actually about the cornering is it? It's about what I said before."

And just as sudden as the magic had appeared, it is gone again, making Emma breathe a sigh of relief while she picks herself off her desk carefully. Dangling her feet off the edge of the desk, Emma looks at the doorway, at the spot where Regina is now standing, hands in the pockets of her black coat, head bowed and her face hidden by loose tendrils of brown hair.

"Regina?"

Closing her eyes, Regina thinks briefly about not saying anything in response. Of leaving and letting Emma wonder if what just happened has any significance at all. But the more they interacted with each other, the more they seem to get under each other's skins. The more all of these loose strands are weaved into a truth she can no longer deny.

She remembers what Emma had told her. Everything from the evening before. But mostly just a single word. Easy. And that is what scares her, more than anything else she has shared so far with this woman sitting just a few meters away. It would be too easy, like everything else has been so far, too easy to let herself fall of that cliff's edge..and there is no going back.

"We all want things we can't have."

And Emma watches, quietly, speechless, as the door to her office closes and she is left alone once more.

-x-x-x-


End file.
